12 "Stones"

Joshua 4: 5b – 7 “ ….Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."

This compelled me to select 12 "stones" from my own faith/life journey to "set-up"(record) as a memorial (personal testimony) of God's faithfulness & provision:

#1 My family - not perfect - but helped me understand early on that I needed Jesus. At 8 yrs I trusted Him to be my Savior. A decision I’ve never regretted, despite others I have.

#2 My church. I was 11 when my dad was diagnosed w/ cancer & 14 when he died. My mom was emotionally &/or physically ill continually. Don't want to think about where I'd be now if my church family hadn't embraced me as they did.

#3 - Despite many poor choices (mine & other's) growing up God spared me from many of the worst of possible consequences. Realize now, circumstances that "hardened" me, later allowed (caused?) me to be more compassionate to others w/ similar issues I'd been immersed in &/or running away from.

#4 Despite marrying smack out of highschool, (not necessarily for all the right reasons) The LORD blessed me w/ a husband who is still my best friend – a “constant” amidst constant change - love & admire him more each day - going on 23 yrs!

#5 The LORD gave & took away Baby Jeremy & called on us to make incredibly difficult decisions, thereby giving us the oppty to demonstrate indeed our faith was real - which in a strange way, was an answer to prayer.

#6 & 7 W/in weeks of each other, my mom & little brother (w/ Downs Syndrome) passed away. Losing my mom exposed much I wish I'd done differently to try to better understand/be less frustrated by her emotional frailty. Note: At her funeral, The LORD reconnected me w/ dear friends from the church I grew up in. Just weeks later I traveled back there again (Who knew? - God did!) to be w/ my little brother in the hospital & found myself staying w/ them(!), in their lovely Christian home - across the country from me(!) but just down the road from the hospital(!)...a shelter in the storm.

My brother's illness & circumstances req'd me to make decisions I felt only God should make & re-affirmed how much I need Him. My faith was tested again & personal weaknesses were painfully exposed. The "aftermath" drove me back to a more right relationship w/ God in a passionate attempt to never not know what His will is in any given situation ever again - & to find the place where I'm not resting so comfortably that I'm taking advantage of His amazing grace nor trying to earn His unconditional love. (I've lived both extremes) I’ll likely never know, this side of heaven, if I should've handled that most difficult decision differently but despite all I feel should've done better/differently, I sense God guided me thru' it.

#8 Looking back, I sense The LORD set me up(!) (specific time/place/circumstances) for "surgery" - removal of so much "YUCK!" - to make me more like Him (still have a long way to go!)...including (emotional) scars!

#9 "Recovery" When I admitted I needed & asked for help (key turning point!) God gave me a new & very dear friend ("A") for just "such a time as this" & bro't an old friend ("D") across the country on various occasions (for reasons totally unrelated to me)! Both ladies were/have been such an encouragement.

#10 When the cry of my heart was "Please! Make Yourself real to me, LORD!" He did! ...in a way so personal & hard to explain yet I've tried at times - & I journaled thru' it.

# 11 yet another big test... Playmaker was preliminarily diagnosed w/ JDMS...after the initial shock, lots of prayer & many doctor visits/tests we were incredibly relieved to have a stockpile of info indicating that's not what she has (praise God!) yet we were given no real answers. "Ironically" "A" used to be a pediatrician! Here I gained a much greater appreciation for how incredibly timely this Christian, professional, personal & trustworthy relationship was (still is!).

#12 The LORD gave & took yet another new friend - this w/ one whose body & mind embodied so much of what I sensed I'd failed miserably dealing w/ in the past. "S" needed a friend & I needed to exercise what I'd learned (compassion). When The LORD took "S", He left me w/ a sense of confidence & yet another confirmation that His strength is made perfect in (my!) weakness - & that He works all things together for good to those who love Him & are called according to His purpose.

I'm struck(!) by how many of my "stones" are relationships (the consistent theme/pattern - design! in both God's Word & His creation). In history this all took place after the Israelites wandered aimlessly in the desert for 40yrs - & in my story I too collected these "stones" as I was pushing 40 (turned 40 in May). At the time, the Israelites were heading/being prepared to enter the promised land - & so I'm encouraged(!) & can't help but wonder what God has prepared for me, at such a time as this, given the striking similarities in MyStory of History.