Friday, September 18, 2009
The blind leading the blind
I'm heading out to a church women's retreat this wknd ...& honestly, I'm nervous - bc I'll be rooming w/ & assisting a blind woman all weekend. I've never done anything like this before - & - even more honestly ... my heart is not quite right. You see - when we were first considering who might assist this woman, I could tell - I just knew from experience - that trying to find someone to do it would end up being a long drawn out process - & I determined right then & there - out of anger & frustration (ok, now I'm being painfully honest - ouch!) to be the difference I wish to see more of in the church. Yet I also know from experience that if I'd been motivated more purely out of compassion & less out of an "I'm going to teach you a lesson!" mode - that I'd likely be much more eagerly anticipating (& less apprehensive about!) what this wknd has in store. I know this - bc in the past compassion has driven me to really WANT to do something - & there's a BIG difference in what I do when I want to do something as opposed to when I feel obligated...& the big difference is likely to be noticed most - by the person I am attempting to help (bless!).
So - as I attempt to be the change I long to see, I pray that somehow in the process, God will change me.
Edit/P.S. After I posted this, I noticed today's verse at the top of my sidebar. How timely. Ironic - & so "like God":
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)