Monday, September 21, 2009

The blind leading the blind, Part 2

After getting to know "B" by being her guide this wknd at our church women's retreat, I can only imagine what it must be like to be her - having been blinded from oxygen treatment she was given at her premature birth. All she must really know about the sense she's missing is that it sure helps people do a lot of things she can't do & allows others to help her do so much that she wouldn't be able to do otherwise. There must be some resentment that her condition is the result of human error ... & it must require a tremendous(!) amount of faith - in God & in other people - for her to get thru' each & every day. Hmm - perhaps because I can see & do so much for myself, I tend to trust God & others less than I should...

Over the wknd we women naturally did a lot of talking - & I realized that much of that time we (myself included) spent complaining to some degree about something ... - but - now that all has been said & done, I don't remember "B" complaining even once! Somehow I managed to hear what she didn't say above everything else that was said ... & I really admire her because of it.

During the retreat, there was a drama/character portrayal (a last minute addition to the program bc the speakers realized they were expected to do an extra segment that they had not originally planned on) in which Mary, the mother of Jesus, poured her heart out to Elizabeth in a letter. At the end we were to identify ourselves as either a Mary, overwhelmed w/ grief &/or burdens - or as to whom others might turn to pour out their hearts & find some wisdom, encouragement & support. Elizabeths were also to think of a Mary to come alongside & help in some way. Naturally, because "B" was literally at my side so much of the wknd, I considered myself to be an Elizabeth & identified her as "my Mary" but I was stunned to learn that she - even w/ all her hardships & how dependent she is on others to survive each & every day, considered herself to be an Elizabeth(!)- & her primary care giver as "her Mary"! "That", was so precious to me..., it was the "souvenir" I chose to "bring home"!

My heart was not right to begin the wknd with & I knew it. I hoped/prayed God would change it. See, for some time, I've been so frustrated w/ how consumed people are w/ taking care of themselves & their own families & w/ running the church as an organization by serving on committees & running programs that require so much time & energy that it seems they're too busy to share the love of Christ to the loneliest & most needy of those whom God has so conveniently placed right in our midst. So - sadly, it was mostly out of sheer frustration that I determined to be the change I long to see by agreeing to be her guide for the wknd. Yet I knew that if somehow I could get past my frustration, my passion might then be converted to com-passion - & she & I would both be much more likely to be blessed this weekend.

Anyhow ... who knew that God would use "B", to open the eyes of my heart to see that change was much needed there - & then, over the course of the weekend, to guide my heart right to it(!) - to exactly the change that was needed ... as she led by such beautiful example.

10 Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

Exodus 4:10 - 12


warriormom said...

So glad you were blessed - I knew you would be and spent the weekend praying for you during trips to the maternity floor, watching a great gramma in her element holding such a tiny gift, and just sitting in that quiet place thinking of the women on retreat and praying that God would meet each one there in a special way. "B" is a truly remarkable you are!

mom24boys said...

I hope to develop a heart such as yours. You inspire me in many ways. I thought of "B" so much in regards to one of my favorite moments of the weekend........ sitting on that hill in the wagon with all these women singing so beautifully....... and the 'sky show'. It was connected to something with my oldest. Seeing that beautiful sky, a song we sang, left me wondering what the Lord was trying to say to me about him. And "B" couldn't enjoy the scattering about the night sky which was my favorite part. You are both inspiring in different ways!

MyStory of HiStory said...
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MyStory of HiStory said...
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The 4 Bushel Farmgal said...

Your activities and actions from this past weekend are certainly inspiring! What a terrific illustration of how important it is to look at things from another's reference point.

I'm trying to be a bigger part of my "community" instead of focusing on my wants and needs, which can be so self-centered. Thank you for sharing your insights. It's helpful in choosing what is important, and what's not.

MyStory of HiStory said...

ok - this my THIRD attempt at leaving this comment. Realized I used a name, I wasn't sure I should & as I so often do - found yet another typo- ugh!

so here goes:

Blogger MyStory of HiStory said...

Good Morning ladies....if you only knew how I wrestle on the inside at times. It seems tho' that God often honors whatever is good in my intentions (& too often I don't give Him much to work with!) & deals w/ the rest...quite personally!

Wow - warriormom...thank you so very much for your prayers...even as you were in the midst of such an exciting time. I'm excited to meet the baby! Your mom (Great-gramma) has certainly earned the "great" in her title...what a beautiful legacy she is leaving!

Mom24boyz...that hayride WAS such a special/awesome time of fellowship & worship! - a shared memory we will treasure :) -- & I know what you're saying about "B" - when someone has never seen do you describe to them things such as stars & sunsets ... light/color!?